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Monday, June 2, 2008

why do i care?

most of the time, i care because it's my nature...and i do believe that i care for others more than i care for myself...that's why i become so sad today as it turns out that i've made my bestfriend becomes sad...i hate to feel guilty and i hate to blame myself...everything happens for a reason and nothing can be undone...sorry is not enough...i know...yet, i am no angel and simply can't satisfy everyone...what i do know is i've never intended to make you sad...i guess it's because of the uncontrollable situation and so the stresses are overwhelming more than usual...i'm so very sorry but rest assured, i CARE okay...

it was regarding a decision on my bestfriend's upcoming wedding doorgifts...i'm not the decision maker but more of an influencer since i will be her bridesmaid...both of us have surveyed some stores and considering her mak's request of giving out eggs for 'orang kampung', we've decided to find best 'bekas telur' deals...

with medium allocated budget, my bestfriend agreed on purchasing the 'mengkuang' square boxes...

the person responsible in buying is me...

however, when the day i went to the store to place the order, a newly displayed 'bekas telur' made from nylon caught my attention...so, i decided to change our choice...but not without her consent as i did have a video call and let she sees the fancy thing herself before the decision was made...

the next thing is, after a week, my bestfriend comes to collect them...we went to the store together and this time, she get to see and purchased other stuffs as well...

back at home, we felt quite happy as several of the preparation to-do list can be considered settle...this happened two days ago...

however, this evening i received several SMSes from my bestfriend telling me that she kept thinking that she didn't like the idea of the nylon bag...this has made me sad and i do feel guilty a little...i did apologize but i don't consider that it is entirely my fault...

if i could just turn back the time, i guess i should not suggest the idea in the first place and just go with the 'mengkuang' thing...but seriously, my intention is always for my bestfriend to have a memorable wedding...

i keep on comforting her hoping that this small matter won't get in the way as she is suppose to be happy and stress-free...

my bestfriend's last SMS: Ok, dun wory aliza, nk lps tension je

should i feel relieved now?ermm...maybe every bride-to-be has their ups and downs...i just have to stay care and be patient and prepared until the awaited event on 17th august 2008...insya-Allah...

3 comments:

Faiz said...

sbb nervous kot nk kawen.. maybe she just want to talk about something.. anything.. n randomly picked this topic..

no worries.. decision has been made.. makin pikir makin rasa bsalah.. mule la pikir yg bukan2.. so better focus more on preparation dari dok pikir 'tersalah pilih bekas telur'..

~she know u're giving ur best.. :)

aliza hj hasan said...

faiz-iye...iye...hidup mesti dtruskan...ni small matter je ni...

idayusof said...

Aliza,

i think that is normal. biasalah tu, bila majlis dah nak dekat... sumer orang cam pening2.

and orang yang paling dekat dan paling rapat adalah tempat terbaik utk mengadu and sesekali melepaskan perasaan.

everything should be just fine. :)