...my honesty breaks mama's heart...

mama, i'm sorry...i'm so so sorry...please forgive me...

in order to keeping up pleasing other people's hearts, i forgot the most important heart of all - my mama's...an angel friend reminded me...

yesterday morning, i called mama asking things around the house, mama and abah's life and how's everybody...OK, so mama had a back pain since Sunday...Jeleen will be heading back to Lumut...Jemi ada di rumah...Baby Adik is busy with his campus life...

everything seems normal to me until just right before we hung up...

Ja...Bo lah jujur sangak...Sudoh-sudoh lah...

Hoo... (berdengung sket)

our phone conversation ended there...

and tears welled up my eyes...

then, another angel friend appeared before me...she made me realized the truth that i'm living in denial...i'm partly not OK...

and really, mothers know their children...thank you, mama...

the bright side, things will never be the same again...

mama, i will give time time...you don't need to worry...insyaAllah...He'll protect me...He loves all of us...

it's not even a break up...it's just there...no explanation...more of an imaginary 'thingy'...

so, i got another advice from another friend: don't live in fantasy anymore...

i will my friend...yeay...

oklaa...never thought i'm very open in expressing my feelings...i guess i'm like so many others out there...the only different - iye...saya jujur sangat...dan saya suarakan di sini dengan bebas...

again,mama, please don't worry...it's just the way i'm keeping myself sane...i'm interacting with the world...and i'm loving it...

lately i'm receiving more than i give...

kite patut bsyukur kan...

patut~~~baguslah sekarang dah balik kat awak...

tapinye, sume2 nk sayang kite sekarang...kite x biase...(ini tande x bsyukur - astaghfirullah)

kite takut kite lupe nk return balik...

huhuhu...

tau je orang sayang tp org x tunjuk...

all in all, i conclude that it's our duties to spread Allah's love...

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last Sunday, i went running and climbing all the way up KL Tower...woohooo...2058 steps, all right...hehehe...i'm proud of myself...

i got my first medal for the year 2010: KL International Towerthon Challenge 2010 Finisher Medal...yeay...yeay...not really sure how do i fare with other participants...but, they will print the time record on my certificate...on the running day, we had this ChampionChip attached to our shoelace...i guess i made it less than 30 minutes for the staircases but running from the foothill to the tower really tested my endurance...pancit lah...

climbing up the staircases will really tested your mental strength...i overheard a crew answering to a runner along the way: 5 more to go...and so, i climb and i climb and i climb...

and guess what?!! it's not 5 flight of stairs more - it's actually 5 more water/medical stations to go...ohh...what the well!!!aiyarkk...

finally, i conquered KL Tower...by climbing stairs equivalent to 28th floors building...i am really proud of myself...subhanallah...

the next best thing was a picnic at Sg Pisang...i met many new friends...the waterfall is majestic and cool and just amazing...only we were there...soo nice and crystal clear...and i even had fish spa...ade lagi tempat bersih macam ni...cantikk...

sungguh saya adalah happy :)